what to do if your bus doesnt come in 30 min

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While creeping through Reddit relationship communication, which I do on an well-nigh-concerning, semi-regular basis, I came across what well-nigh 20 and 30-somethings would call an age-old tale. Couple gets together. Couple goes strong. Couple gets three years in, isn't living together, and one party is v concerned that their relationship is going nowhere and that the second party is pulling away from them. In this particular mail service, the original poster has been with her Southward.O. for three years, and he's being more than a piffling bit difficult about moving in together. They've talked wedlock, she thinks at that place's a future, but he's being super vague most the timeline. Here are 16 Redditors on what you should exercise when your long-term Southward.O. won't commit or move in.

1. "I am lamentable to tell you this but he doesn't meet a future with yous. The fact that he shoots down every possible option you lot've suggested leads me to believe he has no intention of e'er moving in with you. You cannot speed things up. You either continue the human relationship as is or y'all interruption upwardly and move on to find someone who wants the same things as you do from a relationship." — scoobydoo22a

two. "Have an actual conversation with him virtually what he wants in the relationship before running for the hills." — Millionmario

iii. "Sounds like he's content with the mode things are…and you're not. That is a problem. I call back you need to make it articulate to him that you're unhappy with the current situation, and you desire him to work together with you lot to come with a solution where both of yous will be happy.
If he's not willing to compromise now, how do you expect him to compromise on bigger things if you get married and kickoff a family?" – iownakeytar

4. "My boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years and neither he nor I want to move in together notwithstanding either. While nosotros encounter one some other in our futures, just both value our independence and being solitary. We see i another maybe 2-3 times during the week even though nosotros live upwards the street from ane another.This works for u.s.a., but it's mutual. In your relationship, that level of independence may be 1 sided, and that'south where y'all may be incompatible. What sucks most growing upwards and being in a serious relationship is that although things may exist going smoothly, sometimes partnerships don't work out anyhow because you lot desire different long term things." – what_a_cat_astrophe

five. "My boyfriend and I have been together six years, no band. Anybody moves at a different pace. The simply problem here is that ane person wants it, and the other doesn't. If zippo volition modify his listen, [yous are] better off moving on." – imperi0

6. "I know two couples that got married after 8 years together. In both cases, forward motility began when the woman put her foot down." – tactical_cakes

7. "If, subsequently three years, at 28 y/o he can't requite you some sort of timeframe…and then IMO your relationship is going nowhere, and you need to have a sit down with yourself about whether or not yous want to remain in the human relationship. He talks nigh union and the future (my gauge is yous e'er initiate those talks) because it keeps you conceited, and buys him more time." – 4b3ats

8. "He's giving y'all the run effectually because he doesn't want to move things to the side by side level (whether with y'all or at all, information technology's up for argue). If you eventually desire to get married, I advise you find another guy because you're wasting your time with this i." – whycantiremembermy

9. "Going against the grain here, he may not want to move in because of a certain reason. I know several people that wouldn't do it before marriage. Simply talk to him, only emphasize the importance of the matter." – C0ndoriano

ten. "It's weird. You tin speed things upwardly past breaking upward with him ASAP so you can observe someone who actually wants to be with you in every sense of the idea." – misspiggie

eleven."Get less available, make some plans without him, be busier. This volition help him focus on putting more effort into being with you, or not. If he'due south content to see you less and less often, that tells yous something. Depending where you live he may be agape of handing over partial ownership of his house after yous accept lived together common-police force for a sure menses of time." – bananafor

12. "Ughhhh I've been there. I spent 4 monogamous committed years in my mid 20s with my ex (five years together in full) and he refused to move in with me. Large fault! I made excuses at get-go, then 'reveled' in the fact that we were 'not traditional' and nosotros put our careers kickoff… And then finally accustomed the fact I wasn't a priority to him. People make time for the things that are important to them. This is non a priority for him, and y'all need to make your feelings abundantly clear before moving on." – cheesecheeesecheese

xiii. "It'due south been 3 years. Usually couples move in before marriage to find out truthful compatibility. If he'south non willing to move in, then they might non find out their true chemistry as roommates/full-time lovers until later. To me, it's wasted years. You seriously don't really know someone, or their bad habits until cohabitation. Women sometimes need to push these timelines likewise if they want kids so they still take the chance later if this isn't the person they desire kids with (after living together). It's a perfectly reasonable request. Esp. after iii years of dating. Information technology'due south not like it's a new relationship." – SatinDoll15

14. "Maybe he only hated living with his ex and doesn't want to go downwards that same path with y'all. I wouldn't have information technology personal if I were you. Just if it'due south something yous really want and he doesn't, that needs to be addressed." – midnightslip

15. "He's just not that into you." – MessyEnema

16. "My now ex did the same thing. He dragged his anxiety at every single stride in the relationship. He only came dorsum begging me to move in Afterwards I broke up with him. Nosotros postponed the original move in date for an entire year, and he nevertheless didn't want to take the footstep. We had other problems but his reluctance to movement forward in our relationship was the sign of the other problems. He said he loved me, but he was using me equally a trophy to dangle in front of his ex…nothing more." – LostPinkDaffodil

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Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/maya-kachroo-levine/2016/06/16-people-on-what-you-should-do-if-your-long-term-s-o-wont-commit/